At first glance, CFL fans may feel that the Riders have gotten a little cocky after winning their first Grey Cup in nearly 20 years. It almost seems as though they've decided to add a degree of difficulty to their campaign to repeat.

First, head coach Kent Austin left to become the offensive coordinator at his alma matter Ol’ Miss. Then starting QB and 2007 CFL MOP (that really is a quality acronym) Kerry Joseph was traded to the Toronto Argonauts. Throw in the loss of Fred Perry and useful RB Cory Homes… and… well... perhaps after all those years of losing and cleaning house might have joined watermelon headwear as an enduring if not always explicable Rider tradition.

But at closer glance, Riders fans have to admit that last year's storybook script of a season might not have been rewritable. After all, a lot of things bounced the Rider’s way: Joseph putting it all together for an MVP season; facing a rookie QB starting his first ever game in the Grey Cup; a poor season from Calgary; Luca Congi catching fire in the playoffs; the enduring presence of Danny Maciocia in Edmonton.

There are still reasons to be optimistic for the coming season. First and foremost, Marcus Crandell actually is an experienced and serviceable CFL QB - people forget he was the Grey Cup most outstanding player for Calgary in 2001. The integration of new coach Ken Miller should be a smooth one; apparently Miller called 95% of the plays last year, which might explain Kent Austin’s success given his abysmal play calling during the short-lived Ricky Williams era in Toronto. Throw in a year of playoff experience, a deep offensive line and the great Ronald Flemons (from all of us here in Toronto – you’re welcome, Saskatchewan). Oh, and Maciocia is still in Edmonton.

I'm predicting a second-place finish in a tight Western conference. with avoiding injuries and the integration of Crandell into the offense being the key for the Riders.

As an assed bonus, reason #239 why I like the CFL:

After trading for Hamilton’s pick in the final round of the CFL draft, the Roughriders selected the University of Regina Rams star quarterback – and two-time finalist for the Hec Crighton Trophy – Teale Orban (or is that Orban Teale)? The move made so much sense (draft a local kid from a local school to give the rabid fan base even more to get excited about), I seriously doubted it would happen. Yes, the lack of an import quota for quarterbacks will not help him, and there may be added pressure to play him if he looks even remotely up to it. But this was still a no-brainer and in a sports world sometimes gone mad (Maciocia), I do feel it is important to celebrate the no-brainers that do actually happen.

With Kerry Joseph having done the expected and taken home the MOP award last night, we felt obliged to get to know him a little better. And so we found ourselves at his personal website, notable mostly for an "Ask KJ" section in which he appears to personally respond to every e-mail he receives.

Mostly, this means there is a lot - a lot - about God, along with tantalizing factoids like his close friendship with Yo Murphy (possibly giving us some competition in our ongoing quest to become the world's most recognized expert on Yo Murphy). But for sheer creepiness, nothing in the most recent edition beats what appears to be an application from someone named Shirley to become Kerry's surrogate mom:

"I am so proud of you. You know what I am saying. Your mom must be busting her buttons watching you. I am your mother's age with two sons who are athletic and I know how she must be feeling. I am a post-secodary educator who has two brown sons who always participated in sports. I am so sorry that your mom can not be here for you, but always know that I am. I would love to meet you. This can be on a neutral grounds. it is so imnportant that young people feel they have support. I just watched your latest game against the HTC and I said, there goes Kerry, he loves to score a touch down. Please if you wantyour mom to attend, know she has a safe plae to stay. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. I live in Reina. If you want to meet with my sons, Jo-Jo and Willie, call me. I would love for you to meet them and I also want your mom to feel secure in having a "safe" place to stay."

We don't mean to pick on Shirley, who's probably very well-intentioned. But we can sort of see why Kerry responds with a briskly diplomatic "My mom enjoys watching the games on TV,  I know she is behind me 100%" and moves on to the next question without even offering his customary blessing. As a general rule, we tend to avoid people who offer to meet on "neutral ground," unless we're supposed to be meeting them to sign a peace treaty.

So, what are you doing on the Friday night of a long weekend? Because us, we're sitting around Camp Rusty drinking beer, eating Swiss Chalet and watching the Week 1 showdown between the Roughriders and the Alouettes. Two swinging guys, we are, and courtesy of the year's first game diary you're along for the ride.

***

7:04 - Other sports broadcasts have sideline reporters like Melissa Stark or Erin Andrews... Friday Night Football has Danny Mac. And yes, he still makes us jump, jump.

7:06 - When did Matt Dunigan develop a stutter? Deep breath, Matt. Deep breath.

7:07 - The Kent Austin love-in begins. Contrary to all the available evidence, the TSN panel wants us to know that he's perfectly happy to run the ball.

7:12 - Ooohhh, a Brian Williams interview. We don't really consider it football season until we've seen at least five shots of Williams nodding pensively while his subject rambles. In this case it's Mark Cohon, whose main requirement for the commissioner's job appears to be that he looks like John Tory's kid brother.

7:14 - Wait...two Brian Williams interviews? Now he's talking to David Stern about Cohon...and nodding pensively.

7:15 - Hold on...three Brian Williams interviews? Bob Young, step on up. 

7:16 - Four Brian Williams interviews? This is starting to look like a Behind the Music episode. All we need now is for the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard to turn up and credit Mark Cohon with saving his life.

7:17 - As the montage ends, we're back to Brian Williams live from Molson Stadium...who's still watching his Behind the Music episode on a monitor. Actually, he's not just watching - he's shaking his head with the sort of grin that says "Brian, you magnificent bastard, you've done it again."

7:23 - Ah, Out of Bounds - the feature clearly dreamed up by whoever signed off on this massive studio to justify its costs. Put Dunigan in one corner of the studio, Climie in another, Schultz in a third...and presto, you've got TV magic.

7:33 - Tonight's TSN poll: Who's the best Canadian receiver in the league? Our candidates: Jason Clermont, Ben Cahoon and...Andy Fantuz? Time to begin our write-in campaign for Andre Talbot.

7:38 - We're ready for kickoff...and so is Jim Popp's luxurious hair.

7:40 - Beautiful catch by Jason Armstead. And luckily, Jake Ireland isn't around to call a holding penalty.

7:48 - Someone named Mike Imoh (pronounced "Emo") is running all over the 'Riders. And every time Suitor says his name, we expect some moody kid with a bad haircut to walk into the huddle.

7:51 - Already in Grey Cup form, Anthony Calvillo is intercepted in the end zone.

7:54 - After their second possession of the game, the 'Riders have still yet to run the ball. The balanced attack is in full effect.

7:56 - How bad a beer is Coors Light that they're trying to sell it on the basis that it's colder than other beers? Watch for Steelback to counter with its campaign to make its beer the warmest beer you can buy. Which of course would make it even more delicious.

7:59 - Calvillo is sacked...we think. It's hard to tell for sure, because TSN was showing a pan shot of the entire stadium. Finally, we can experience what it's like to watch the game from the rooftop of a nearby building.

8:07 - Glen Suitor wants all you kids out there to follow Ben Cahoon's lead by investing in some sort of contraption that flings balls at you at an extremely high speed. If you can't afford that, kids, just have your friends fling their own balls at you. Or give Rod Black a call.

8:11 - End of the first quarter, and it's a scoreless tie. We should really warn fans before we liveblog games so they don't waste their Friday nights.

8:12 - "Etienne Boulay shows Blitz..." Why are you stopping, Cuthbert? We want to know what he showed Blitz, although this being Etienne Boulay we can probably guess.

8:16 - Kent Austin's balanced offensive unit currently has 10 rushing yards, most of which we're pretty sure came from Kerry Joseph

8:32 - We don't mean to pick on Glen Suitor too much, at least this early in the season. But after a running play from Imoh goes nowhere, he decides to make his second point about Dave Mudge's awesomeness in two plays. Why not explain why the running play didn't work?

8:38 - It's starting to rain at Molson stadium. Luckily Danny Mac isn't in a white t-shirt.

8:39 - Uh-oh. With the rain, the Riders are going to have to run the ball. Kent Austin's biggest foe: rain

8:39 - TSN cuts to the Als cheerleaders in the rain. An admirable decision.

8:43 - It's really hard to watch football in the rain without thinking about the opening scene from The Last Boyscout. Good thing Robert Baker didn't sign with either of these teams.

8:56 - That Emo kid is running the ball again for Montreal.  If they keep hitting him like this, they're going to smudge his eyeliner.

8:58 - Jim Popp appears to have pulled his hood up to avoid messing up his hair.

8:58 - We're at the half and it's a 6-2 barnburner. By our count, there have been about 3 touchdowns combined in all of the game diaries we've written.

9:02 - This game is so bad, the studio crew isn't even trying to convince us it's not.

9:05 - Fantuz is at 12% in the wide receivers poll. It's safe to assume that 12% of the people watching this thing are from Saskatchewan.

9:08 - The net yards at the half - 143-103. Or less than two Bashir Levinston kick returns combined.

9:10 - We still can't see Jennifer Hedger without thinking of The Lofters. And in turn an unpleasant conversation about her nipples that we hope we're imagining but we're pretty sure we're not. We won"t elaborate.

9:11 - We're able to shake that thought long enough to notice that Hedger is plugging TSN's live coverage this weekend of NHL free agent signings...official proof that this country's hockey obsession has turned into self-parody.

9:12 - We've just been warned that "no accounts or descriptions of this game" are allowed to be "disseminated without the official consent of the CFL." Good thing we're too busy writing about Popp's hair and Hedger's nipples to pay much attention to the game.

9:17 - The Riders have put together something resembling a drive.

9:18 - Mark Estelle is one of those guys who should always be referred to by his full name. Otherwise, we think one of the Golden Girls is loose on the field. (This also applies to Chip Cox, for obvious reasons. You really don't want to hear Chris Cuthbert talk about someone being "smothered by Cox.")

9:19 - Congi hits his third field goal of the game. It continues to mystify us that TSN doesn't bill his stats as "the Congi line" each and every time it shows them.

9:25 - Calvillo is sacked. Again. How will Jack Todd find a way to blame Don Matthews for this?

9:27 - It's always disappointing when they show a closeup of Montreal's cheerleaders, all of whom look about 15. A city of beautiful women, and these girls look like they should have been on Green Bay's sidelines during the Mark Chmura era.

9:30 - Joseph finds Henri Childs deep and...he's in! 16-3 Riders. And that's what a touchdown looks like. We'd forgotten.

9:34 - Somehow, Jamie Boreham just got called for unnecessary roughness. This is what happens when other kickers try to be Noel Prefontaine.

9:35 - We love Danny Mac and we're thoroughly enjoying his debut. But someone needs to tell him to stop saying things like "Calvillo's balls are fluttering."

9:40 - With the Riders pinned deep, they concede the safety. But first we get that inevitable moment where the kicker tempts fate by running around the back of the end zone with the ball - the most inexplicable thing in football next to the failure of the Las Vegas Posse.

9:44 - In this year's edition of Chris Schultz's food drive ad, he's got his sleeves rolled up. This is a man who clearly means business.

9:46 - Cuthbert notes that the fans don't seem to be getting on Calvillo despite his abysmal performance. Just a wild guess here, but that may have something to do with all the fans having gone home to avoid the rain.

9:50 - Calvillo's picked off again. The fans are audibly voicing their displeasure.

9:51 - Kerry Joseph has 43 rushing yards. Austin's going to have a running game whether he likes it or not.

9:55 - Apparently the Riders had to make a trade to get Henri Childs from the Als because they couldn't find his phone number while he was a free agent. God, we love this league.

10:00 - Nice to see Reggie Hunt rocking the tinted-visor-at-night look. He's officially the Corey Hart of the CFL.

10:03 - Calvillo's picked off yet again, this time inside the 10. Mar-cus Bra-dy (Clap. Clap. Clap-Clap-Clap.)

10:07 - Boreham concedes another safety for the Riders. If you're turning this game on now, you're going to see a 16-7 score and assume the Als have a touchdown. That would make this a merely bad game. But to understand how uniquely bad it is, you have to know that they actually have three safeties and a rouge.

10:12 - Just what this game needs - a challenge.

10:14 - Calvillo gets run over. Pity he didn't hear Cuthbert's panicked "LOOK OUT!" before the hit. You know you're having a bad night when the commentators start pitying you.

10:17 - It's also a bad sign when your enormous inflatable mascot is visibly depressed.

10:19 - Why must they tease us with promises of "Glen's Gladiator"? Tell us who it is, you bastards!

10:23 - The Als turn it over on downs with 1:22 left after Calvillo throws it about 8 yards short of the first-down marker on third down. In other words, he pulled a Damon Allen.

10:27 - Apparently this is the lowest scoring game between these teams since the Als came back to Montreal 11 years ago. So naturally, one of the quarterbacks is Glen's Gladiator.

10:30 - Calvillo just went down in a pitiful heap to avoid being sacked.

10:31 - And...it's done. Riders 16, Als 7. We were going to demand Jim Popp not cut his hair until Montreal wins, but that might get in the way of Herb Zurkowsky collecting locks of it to keep by his bed.

Well we tried to help the Riders out, we really did, but Eric Tillman didn't take our carefully thought out suggestions.  Can't say that we didn't see this coming though. 

Presumably, Kent wasn't this dumbfounded when Tillman gave him the callWe wish Kent Austin the best of luck in Regina and hope that his ads for Moose Jaw Toyota are as brilliant as the work he did for Barrie Nissan.

As to what the population of Riderville can expect... well, let's hope Kent defers a little bit to an offensive co-ordinator.  While his gameplans for the 2004 East Final and Grey Cups were brilliant, it's apparent that the league has gone in a bit of a different direction, and that rushing attacks are now a bit more potent.  If he sticks to the same old plan, then I guess we'll find out just how good a blocking back Kenton Keith is.

Earlier this week, Eric Tillman did what we all expected and put an end to the Danny Barrett era in Saskatchewan. Much as we like Danny, especially if he turns up here as the Argos' O.C., we have to agree that the move was warranted after seven years of failing to get the great fans of Saskatchewan a home playoff game,.

Earlier this year, we tried to help our friends from down the highway by offering a few suggestions as to who the next coach of the Ti-Cats should be. (And we should note that all of those candidates are still available. Very available.) So in that tradition, we present some options that Tillman may want to consider for the next coach of the Riders:

Gainer the Gopher:
The most inspiring rodent since Mighty Mouse

Players need a coach who can inspire them and that they can rally around. And as he showed at this year’s West Semi Final, no rodent can inspire a team quite like Gainer. We suspect that his hiring would probably irk the Regina media corps, though, because let’s face it - if the heat starts to build, Gainer’s going underground.

Lawrence Phillips:

Hitting someone at a club? If the 'Riders are going to lead the league in felonies, they clearly need to step it up. And after trying to drive his car into a couple of teenagers who were beating him in a touch football game, Lawrence is clearly the man to do it.

John Jenkins:
We demand that this haircut be brought back into the league

If we know the Prairies like we think we do, there’s nothing that Rider fans will like more than a man who shows up to press conferences in expensive pinstriped suits and flashy red boots. Seems like a sure-fire winner.

Bonus point to Mr. Jenkins for being the candidate who most resembles a stalk of wheat.

Glen Constantinn:

Okay, this is a somewhat serious suggestion. He probably isn’t the most popular man in Saskatchewan, but could someone in the CFL please give this guy a job? At the very least, it may lead to someone other than Laval winning a Vanier Cup.

We have to say, it's truly been a banner year for the young ladies who patrol the CFL's sidelines. There was the infamous Howard Stern appearance by the Ticats' Ashley H. and Deanna G. (Sorry, but cheerleaders just shouldn't have last names.) There's the curious double-agent status of Michelle and Lauren. And now, there's this - overly enthusiastic members of the "Blue Lightning" (who really must have a showdown with the Blue Thunder at some point) roaming hotel hallways, terrorizing Roughriders fans with singing, taunting and the occasional bit of toplessness.  

Now, to be honest, we have some doubts as to how wild and crazy these girls really were. For all the talk of "'hootin' and hollerin' into the wee hours," the complainants allege that the girls left their doors open as they got changed to hit the town later that night - which means either Regina is one crazy 24-hour party town, or it wasn't really all that late to begin with.

Nevertheless, we heartily applaud Winnipeg's finest for doing their best to give 'Riders fans a thrill. See, at last year's Riderville party at the Grey Cup, we found ourselves on a balcony watching in awe as a middle-aged Saskatchewanian did his best to curry favour with unsuspecting young women lining up for the nightclub down below. Sadly, his game needed a little work - "I've got my eye on you" isn't really the smoothest pickup line, especially when it comes from a guy sporting a green wig and facepaint and standing next to his very disapproving wife. But it's somehow heartening to know that, when the Bombers cheerleaders are on hand, there are women who actually want that guy's eye on them.

For the record, it's 67 days until Grey Cup festivities begin. In Winnipeg. Just saying. 

Before we get started, I just want to be clear that I'm completely ashamed of myself for titling this post with a reference to a catch phrase from The Bachelor. In my defence, the one time I saw the show I was stuck in a hotel room without cable during a rainstorm. And there was no remote... and the knob on the TV was broken... and I was being forced to watch at gunpoint. Yes, I realize that I should have just partaken in the mini-bar and gone to bed. Yes, I'm an enormous loser.

Nevertheless, now that the Alouettes have signed the Bachelor to act as their fourth-string QB, we thought it might be useful to check in on which other reality stars might be heading north of the border - and where they might go.

Flava Flav (Public Enemy, The Surreal Life, Flavour of Love) - Originally we were thinking Flav might head to the Alouettes, if only because he'd always have a response when Don Matthews asks "What Time Is It?". But we have a very strict one-reality-star-per-team rule here.

Flav's preference for wearing a Viking helmet would seem to imply that he'd prefer to play for the Boatmen, and we'd certainly love to have him. After all, he could be the next Damon Allen: They're about the same age, Flav has probably been on as many reality shows as Damon has teams, they're about the same weight, and there's at least a 3% chance that Damon walks around the house wearing a set of gold teeth. Besides, Toronto hasn't had this handsome an athlete since Otis Nixon.

Richard Hatch (Survivor) - Given that he's only been convicted of the relatively minor crime of tax evasion, he could probably act as a role model to some of the Roughriders. (And yes, we know we're setting ourselves up as Argos fans. But at least give us credit for not making jokes about a fat naked gay guy trying to fit in on the Prairies.)

Ruben Studdard (American Idol) - Since the city of Hamilton is amongst the world leaders in doughnut shops per capita, we really think that Ruben could provide the local economy with a boost. And remember: He's only slightly less mobile than Danny McManus was.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck (Survivor) - All right...for the sake of all those suffering Ticats fans, we're prepared to break that one-reality-star-per-team rule. Sadly, Elizabeth probably won't be able to bring her moderately talented husband with her. But on the bright side, even she probably has a stronger arm than Jason Maas. And if the team is looking for an appropriate replacement for Craig Yeast...well, um, take it away, Wikipedia entry.

Because it's been cold and rainy all weekend, because half the city seems to be away, because we need to get in the mood for tomorrow's showdown at Ivor Wynne, because we haven't done this in a while and because those of you spending your holiday on Boatmenblog really deserve a special treat, it's time for what passes for a Boatmenblog staff party - also known as sitting on a couch and watching a CFL game way too closely. Tonight, it's the 'Riders and the 'Bombers. Enjoy.

7:03 pm Jock Climie and Matt Dunigan are having an intense back-and-forth conversation that appears designed solely to keep the camera off Chris Schultz.

7:10 pm A Labour Day poll asks viewers for their favourite rivalry. Shamefully, the classic B.C.-Monteal matchup is not an option. 

7:12 pm  TSN begins an extremely earnest feature on the Cosh family, joining them for their regular five-hour journey from Macklin, SK - apparently somewhere near the Alberta border - to Regina for 'Riders home games. We're going to seem like total jerks if we make fun of these people...even if the mother is inexplicably in a nun's outfit.

7:13 pm As they set sail from Macklin, the Cosh father tells his kids not to go in the "adult van." We don't really want to know what goes on in there, but we do kind of hope it involves these people.

7:15 pm This really is a very charming little feature. And who knows...by the time the Cosh children are all grown up with kids of their own, they might even get to see a 'Riders home playoff game. 

7:24 pm Each member of the pre-game panel is sent off into a different corner of the room for something called "Out of Bounds." It's slightly depressing that TSN spent a whack of money on a shiny new studio this season, and this is the only way they've figured out how to showcase it.

7:32 pm  After a particularly complex bit of analysis by Schultz, Dunigan bulges his eyes, waves his arms in the air and yells something about "distorted reality." We're pretty sure Schultz has officially blown Dunigan's mind.

7:38 pm Occasionally, we're glad we don't have HDTV. This closeup of Doug Berry is one of them. 

7:39 pm Chris Cuthbert repeatedly refers to this game as "critical." Somewhere, an unemployed Shake Severs is wondering about royalties. 

7:48 pm We're told about the 2,000 extra seats in place for the upcoming Rolling Stones concert. Keith Richards is so falling off the wagon when he encounters the Regina nightlife. 

7:49 pm In a pre-recorded clip, Danny Barrett gets all excited about "the hot dog smell in the air" on Labour Day. Presumably, Wally Buono is firing off a harsh letter even as he speaks.

7:55 pm Berry throws the flag to challenge the spot on a Kerry Joseph run, cruelly forcing Jake Ireland to contend with the new-fandangled contraption that is video replay. (A side-note: Until stumbling onto this, we never quite realized that Jake Ireland and John Ireland were the same person.) 

7:58 pm Joseph rumbles in for a touchdown, putting the 'Riders up 7-1 after the convert.

8:04 pm Troy Westwood hits a field goal, bringing the Bombers within four. Somewhere, there's an imaginary aboriginal community going nuts for its beloved "Little Hawk."

8:06 pm The incomparable Glen Suitor actually provides a moderately interesting tidbit: The Bombers stay in Moose Jaw over the Labour Day weekend to avoid all the "excitement" in Regina. How far away do these guys have to stay when they're playing in Montreal? Goose Bay?

8:09 pm Kerry Joseph caps another run-heavy drive with his second rushing touchdown. How many teams in a row have to decimate the Bombers' run defence before we stop hearing what an accomplishment that is?

8:21 pm A horrible Kevin Glenn pass flutters like a dying bird about four yards from the line of scrimmage. Did we miss Joe Paopao being hired as the Bombers' offensive coordinator?

8:29 pm Still no sign of vaunted homegrown talent Andy Fantuz...presumably because he's still in the clubhouse playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

8:32 pm It's nice to see that Lonie Glieberman has found work kicking field goals for the 'Riders. 

8:35 pm The camera pans across a gentleman with an "S" shaved into his chest, either to show his devotion to the 'Riders or because he's the biggest Superman geek on the planet.

8:36 pm Cuthbert describes Joseph as "a little limp." Insert your own joke here.

8:37 pm Joseph finds Corey Grant in the end zone. Perhaps he's not so limp after all. 

8:45 pm Glenn hits Quentin McCord with a fluttering moon-shot that would make Eric Crouch proud. Why do the 'Riders always get burned by those?

8:46 pm Milt Stegall, possibly feeling the need to vindicate a TSN crew that's spent 85% of the game talking about him, surfaces for a touchdown catch. 

8:48 pm Now on the sidelines, Stegall gets the "How badly does Milt Stegall want to win?" treatment. Has last year's ESPN Sunday Night crew hijacked the broadcast booth?

8:57 pm After the 'Riders somehow manage another rushing touchdown (this one by Kenton Keith) on "the best run defence in the league," Andy Fantuz finally tears himself away from Adam Rita's game room to play a supporting role in an elaborate end-zone dance sequence.

9:01 pm As the half winds down, Suitor's not even speaking in sentences any more...he's just throwing random words out. Would anyone object if they replaced him with the video-game version of John Madden, circa 1998? ("Bam...he'll remember that number!" would be more insightful than anything Suitor has come up with so far.) 

9:02 pm Dominique Dorsey has a decent punt return for the 'Riders, proving himself the best DD in the CFL next to Dave Dickenson...and Etienne Boulay, of course.

9:03 pm At the half, it's 28-12 'Riders. 

9:06 pm Dunigan announces that the 'Riders have piled up "over 109 yards." What are we talking here? 109.3? 109.76? We demand specifics.

9:08 pm Schultz suggests that the 'Riders play is making Eric Tillman look good. Somewhere, a furious Roy Shivers is now picking his teeth with a bamboo stick.  

9:12 pm Getting the Brian Williams treatment, Eric Tillmans calls out the Argos for going over the salary cap (as did the 'Riders).

9:13 pm Tillman tells Williams he won't call out any specific teams for going over the salary cap. 

9:18 pm Westwood starts the second half with a godawful attempt at an onside kick, sending it straight out of bounds. Somewhere, Little Hawk's imaginary aboriginal community hangs its head in shame.

9:22 pm An ad for Cell FX tells us that Matt Dunigan "takes a pass on pain"...just like every CFL team is taking a pass on his coaching services. 

9:29 pm Alarmingly, an interview with Kenton Keith's family reveals that Grandpa Keith looks roughly the same age as Damon Allen.

9:31 pm Glen Suitor on Andy Fantuz: "You have to be a little bit more mental preparation." We swear to God, those were his exact words.

9:35 pm Glen Suitor on the Bombers cheerleaders: "They're givin' her down there." (We know...enough with Glen Suitor. But as this game rapidly turns into a blowout, he's all we have to amuse ourselves with.)

9:42 pm As the Bombers go two-and-out yet again, it seems appropriate to note that someone suggested to us today that the ball in their logo looks rather like the Hindenberg.  

9:53 pm It's the end of the 3rd quarter, the 'Riders are making a statement with a 32-12 lead, and so far as we can recall there hasn't been a single shot of Danny Barrett on the sidelines. Oh, right...this is all Tillman's doing.

9:56 pm Touchdown Shermar Bracey, and it's 39-12. Still no sign of Barrett, but at this point we'd rather see (not the real) Greg Marshall, just to see if he rips off his mustache and throws it at one of his defensive backs.

10:06 pm It's always awkward when the camera stays on a player sitting on the bench too long. After giving the usual shout-outs, Fred Perry is reduced to a "Hey, Canada!"...then just stares off uncomfortably into the distance.

10:09 pm Why is Kerry Joseph still in this game?

10:12 pm Hey, it's Danny Barrett! What's he doing here?

10:14 pm Albert Johnson inexplicably runs a missed field goal out to the three-yard line. Clearly, he hasn't been the same since Tom Bryce put the fear of God into him. 

10:25 pm Darian Durant is in at quarterback for the 'Riders. This is exciting news only because it allows us to show you this picture of him (in which he's apparently picking up Spergon Wynn's sloppy seconds.) 

10:28 pm We can forgive Omar Evans for getting himself ejected late in the fourth quarter of his team's latest loss. What we cannot forgive him for, under any circumstances, is his apparent failure to wear a cup. Ugh. 

10:29 pm Chris Cuthbert just stole our Bombers/Renegades comparison. Always happy to provide Canada's leading play-by-play guy with some material...even if we strongly suspect he just comes here for the Suitor-bashing.

10:31 pm As the 'Riders mercifully try to run out the clock, they're nailed for a time-count violation. Can we safely assume Jake/John Ireland is getting paid by the penalty?

10:32 pm As the final whistle goes, two of the four people in the room are asleep. Rest assured, though, that the "adult van" will be rocking all the way back to Macklin.

It's well-established that the average Boatmenblog visitor, despite being the sort of person who reads CFL blogs at the workplace, is far too busy to post any comments. But those of you who do...well, we're just in awe of some of you. And courtesy of a single post last week, that especially applies to our man Greg.

A few days ago, you may recall, we idly speculated that someone should really give Roy Shivers his own TV show. Enter Greg, who promptly proposed "a 'Coach's Corner' like segment on CBC broadcasts" to establish Shivers as "the Don Cherry of the CFL."

If you don't think this is a brilliant plan, we implore you, again, to watch Roy's parting gift to Saskatchewan last week. Replace that uncomfortable local anchor with Elliot Friedman, switch the target of Roy's wrath from Eric Tillman to every single person in the CFL (other than Danny Barrett), make sure that he keeps the toothpick and the funky shirt...and presto, you've got ratings gold.

If you think we're not going to actively lobby the CBC's Nancy Lee on this...well, you just don't know us very well. And if at least a few of you don't do likewise...well, we just don't know you very well, either.