With Kerry Joseph having done the expected and taken home the MOP award last night, we felt obliged to get to know him a little better. And so we found ourselves at his personal website, notable mostly for an "Ask KJ" section in which he appears to personally respond to every e-mail he receives.

Mostly, this means there is a lot - a lot - about God, along with tantalizing factoids like his close friendship with Yo Murphy (possibly giving us some competition in our ongoing quest to become the world's most recognized expert on Yo Murphy). But for sheer creepiness, nothing in the most recent edition beats what appears to be an application from someone named Shirley to become Kerry's surrogate mom:

"I am so proud of you. You know what I am saying. Your mom must be busting her buttons watching you. I am your mother's age with two sons who are athletic and I know how she must be feeling. I am a post-secodary educator who has two brown sons who always participated in sports. I am so sorry that your mom can not be here for you, but always know that I am. I would love to meet you. This can be on a neutral grounds. it is so imnportant that young people feel they have support. I just watched your latest game against the HTC and I said, there goes Kerry, he loves to score a touch down. Please if you wantyour mom to attend, know she has a safe plae to stay. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. I live in Reina. If you want to meet with my sons, Jo-Jo and Willie, call me. I would love for you to meet them and I also want your mom to feel secure in having a "safe" place to stay."

We don't mean to pick on Shirley, who's probably very well-intentioned. But we can sort of see why Kerry responds with a briskly diplomatic "My mom enjoys watching the games on TV,  I know she is behind me 100%" and moves on to the next question without even offering his customary blessing. As a general rule, we tend to avoid people who offer to meet on "neutral ground," unless we're supposed to be meeting them to sign a peace treaty.