Because it's been cold and rainy all weekend, because half the city seems to be away, because we need to get in the mood for tomorrow's showdown at Ivor Wynne, because we haven't done this in a while and because those of you spending your holiday on Boatmenblog really deserve a special treat, it's time for what passes for a Boatmenblog staff party - also known as sitting on a couch and watching a CFL game way too closely. Tonight, it's the 'Riders and the 'Bombers. Enjoy.

7:03 pm Jock Climie and Matt Dunigan are having an intense back-and-forth conversation that appears designed solely to keep the camera off Chris Schultz.

7:10 pm A Labour Day poll asks viewers for their favourite rivalry. Shamefully, the classic B.C.-Monteal matchup is not an option. 

7:12 pm  TSN begins an extremely earnest feature on the Cosh family, joining them for their regular five-hour journey from Macklin, SK - apparently somewhere near the Alberta border - to Regina for 'Riders home games. We're going to seem like total jerks if we make fun of these people...even if the mother is inexplicably in a nun's outfit.

7:13 pm As they set sail from Macklin, the Cosh father tells his kids not to go in the "adult van." We don't really want to know what goes on in there, but we do kind of hope it involves these people.

7:15 pm This really is a very charming little feature. And who knows...by the time the Cosh children are all grown up with kids of their own, they might even get to see a 'Riders home playoff game. 

7:24 pm Each member of the pre-game panel is sent off into a different corner of the room for something called "Out of Bounds." It's slightly depressing that TSN spent a whack of money on a shiny new studio this season, and this is the only way they've figured out how to showcase it.

7:32 pm  After a particularly complex bit of analysis by Schultz, Dunigan bulges his eyes, waves his arms in the air and yells something about "distorted reality." We're pretty sure Schultz has officially blown Dunigan's mind.

7:38 pm Occasionally, we're glad we don't have HDTV. This closeup of Doug Berry is one of them. 

7:39 pm Chris Cuthbert repeatedly refers to this game as "critical." Somewhere, an unemployed Shake Severs is wondering about royalties. 

7:48 pm We're told about the 2,000 extra seats in place for the upcoming Rolling Stones concert. Keith Richards is so falling off the wagon when he encounters the Regina nightlife. 

7:49 pm In a pre-recorded clip, Danny Barrett gets all excited about "the hot dog smell in the air" on Labour Day. Presumably, Wally Buono is firing off a harsh letter even as he speaks.

7:55 pm Berry throws the flag to challenge the spot on a Kerry Joseph run, cruelly forcing Jake Ireland to contend with the new-fandangled contraption that is video replay. (A side-note: Until stumbling onto this, we never quite realized that Jake Ireland and John Ireland were the same person.) 

7:58 pm Joseph rumbles in for a touchdown, putting the 'Riders up 7-1 after the convert.

8:04 pm Troy Westwood hits a field goal, bringing the Bombers within four. Somewhere, there's an imaginary aboriginal community going nuts for its beloved "Little Hawk."

8:06 pm The incomparable Glen Suitor actually provides a moderately interesting tidbit: The Bombers stay in Moose Jaw over the Labour Day weekend to avoid all the "excitement" in Regina. How far away do these guys have to stay when they're playing in Montreal? Goose Bay?

8:09 pm Kerry Joseph caps another run-heavy drive with his second rushing touchdown. How many teams in a row have to decimate the Bombers' run defence before we stop hearing what an accomplishment that is?

8:21 pm A horrible Kevin Glenn pass flutters like a dying bird about four yards from the line of scrimmage. Did we miss Joe Paopao being hired as the Bombers' offensive coordinator?

8:29 pm Still no sign of vaunted homegrown talent Andy Fantuz...presumably because he's still in the clubhouse playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

8:32 pm It's nice to see that Lonie Glieberman has found work kicking field goals for the 'Riders. 

8:35 pm The camera pans across a gentleman with an "S" shaved into his chest, either to show his devotion to the 'Riders or because he's the biggest Superman geek on the planet.

8:36 pm Cuthbert describes Joseph as "a little limp." Insert your own joke here.

8:37 pm Joseph finds Corey Grant in the end zone. Perhaps he's not so limp after all. 

8:45 pm Glenn hits Quentin McCord with a fluttering moon-shot that would make Eric Crouch proud. Why do the 'Riders always get burned by those?

8:46 pm Milt Stegall, possibly feeling the need to vindicate a TSN crew that's spent 85% of the game talking about him, surfaces for a touchdown catch. 

8:48 pm Now on the sidelines, Stegall gets the "How badly does Milt Stegall want to win?" treatment. Has last year's ESPN Sunday Night crew hijacked the broadcast booth?

8:57 pm After the 'Riders somehow manage another rushing touchdown (this one by Kenton Keith) on "the best run defence in the league," Andy Fantuz finally tears himself away from Adam Rita's game room to play a supporting role in an elaborate end-zone dance sequence.

9:01 pm As the half winds down, Suitor's not even speaking in sentences any more...he's just throwing random words out. Would anyone object if they replaced him with the video-game version of John Madden, circa 1998? ("Bam...he'll remember that number!" would be more insightful than anything Suitor has come up with so far.) 

9:02 pm Dominique Dorsey has a decent punt return for the 'Riders, proving himself the best DD in the CFL next to Dave Dickenson...and Etienne Boulay, of course.

9:03 pm At the half, it's 28-12 'Riders. 

9:06 pm Dunigan announces that the 'Riders have piled up "over 109 yards." What are we talking here? 109.3? 109.76? We demand specifics.

9:08 pm Schultz suggests that the 'Riders play is making Eric Tillman look good. Somewhere, a furious Roy Shivers is now picking his teeth with a bamboo stick.  

9:12 pm Getting the Brian Williams treatment, Eric Tillmans calls out the Argos for going over the salary cap (as did the 'Riders).

9:13 pm Tillman tells Williams he won't call out any specific teams for going over the salary cap. 

9:18 pm Westwood starts the second half with a godawful attempt at an onside kick, sending it straight out of bounds. Somewhere, Little Hawk's imaginary aboriginal community hangs its head in shame.

9:22 pm An ad for Cell FX tells us that Matt Dunigan "takes a pass on pain"...just like every CFL team is taking a pass on his coaching services. 

9:29 pm Alarmingly, an interview with Kenton Keith's family reveals that Grandpa Keith looks roughly the same age as Damon Allen.

9:31 pm Glen Suitor on Andy Fantuz: "You have to be a little bit more mental preparation." We swear to God, those were his exact words.

9:35 pm Glen Suitor on the Bombers cheerleaders: "They're givin' her down there." (We know...enough with Glen Suitor. But as this game rapidly turns into a blowout, he's all we have to amuse ourselves with.)

9:42 pm As the Bombers go two-and-out yet again, it seems appropriate to note that someone suggested to us today that the ball in their logo looks rather like the Hindenberg.  

9:53 pm It's the end of the 3rd quarter, the 'Riders are making a statement with a 32-12 lead, and so far as we can recall there hasn't been a single shot of Danny Barrett on the sidelines. Oh, right...this is all Tillman's doing.

9:56 pm Touchdown Shermar Bracey, and it's 39-12. Still no sign of Barrett, but at this point we'd rather see (not the real) Greg Marshall, just to see if he rips off his mustache and throws it at one of his defensive backs.

10:06 pm It's always awkward when the camera stays on a player sitting on the bench too long. After giving the usual shout-outs, Fred Perry is reduced to a "Hey, Canada!"...then just stares off uncomfortably into the distance.

10:09 pm Why is Kerry Joseph still in this game?

10:12 pm Hey, it's Danny Barrett! What's he doing here?

10:14 pm Albert Johnson inexplicably runs a missed field goal out to the three-yard line. Clearly, he hasn't been the same since Tom Bryce put the fear of God into him. 

10:25 pm Darian Durant is in at quarterback for the 'Riders. This is exciting news only because it allows us to show you this picture of him (in which he's apparently picking up Spergon Wynn's sloppy seconds.) 

10:28 pm We can forgive Omar Evans for getting himself ejected late in the fourth quarter of his team's latest loss. What we cannot forgive him for, under any circumstances, is his apparent failure to wear a cup. Ugh. 

10:29 pm Chris Cuthbert just stole our Bombers/Renegades comparison. Always happy to provide Canada's leading play-by-play guy with some material...even if we strongly suspect he just comes here for the Suitor-bashing.

10:31 pm As the 'Riders mercifully try to run out the clock, they're nailed for a time-count violation. Can we safely assume Jake/John Ireland is getting paid by the penalty?

10:32 pm As the final whistle goes, two of the four people in the room are asleep. Rest assured, though, that the "adult van" will be rocking all the way back to Macklin.