Until this week, we had forgotten just how completely insane the Sherwood Schwarz era was. Then we took a look at the Argos' 2000 media guide - to look at the only known shaven-headed photo of Pinball, giving us an idea of what he'll look like this week - and it all came back to us.

It's not the photo of a grimacing Jay Barker on the cover. It's not even the photo of a smirking John Huard inside. It's the write-ups of the front-office staff - which, we're told, were done by none other than "managing director" (read: general manager) J.I. Albrecht.

The one that Albrecht wrote for himself - a glowing page-and-a-half tribute in which he describes himself as "a living legend in the game of football" - is itself pretty spectacular, as you might gather from the final paragraph:

"J.I.'s contributions to the game are truly of legendary proportions. His 'Hall of Fame' recruits ... are testimony to his human resource productivity. That's not all. He's been responsible for recruiting no fewer than 150 players, a good portion of whom were All-Stars. He should bea (sic) shoo-in for the Canadian Football Hall of Fame as a builder. Now he has undertaken the rebuilding of the Argos."

As enjoyable as that is, though, it's surpassed by the write-up for one Dean Albrecht. As poor Dean was trying to prove he got his "director" job on his own merit, the first paragraph probably didn't help much:

"'Like father like son!' That's what they say about Dean Christian Siegfried Albrecht, the youngest of J.I.'s three sons." 

Wait, wait...that's not the really good part. This is:

"Dean, born in Montreal in 1964 when J.I. was General Manager of the Quebec Rifles was conceived when Albrecht was still with the Dallas Cowboys."

Yes, conceived. Now, we don't know about you, but we don't even want to think about our parents conceiving us - let alone have the details sent out to journalists. But then, Dean should probably consider himself lucky. The way this guide was written, he's fortunate his dad doesn't go into his "legendary" performance conceiving him.