Once again, Shoomy steps in with what's becoming a weekly information session for you. This week's is a little confusing, since Thing #1 is actually several things, but hopefully you won't hold that against him.

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Thing #1: Many are the Argos fans who've fixed their gaze on Section 109A and wondered what sort of creative genius we were coming up with. Well, this is your lucky day. Whether you're at the game, watching from the privacy of your own home or merely in Hamilton and spoling for a fight, Boatmenblog sanctions the following cheers.

• “Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!”  This is an obvious one, to be used anytime Arland Bruce does anything. And conveniently, it can be adapted to honour Rich Stubler (Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuub!) anytime the defence does anything, or when his commercial comes on the Jumbotron. Just make sure to keep it in the low baritone range; otherwise, you'll sound ridiculous.
  

• “An-dre Tal-bot,” (Clap-Clap <pause> Clap-Clap-Clap) We were doing this one when a certain Canadian receiver's catches were pretty rare, which made it slightly ironic. Now that he's hauling them in constantly, so much the better. And like our first option, this one's pretty versatile: Where appropriate, it can also be used for By-ron Par-ker. Or, if you really love special teams tackles, Bry-an Craw-ford.
  

• Okay, this is a complicated one. To celebrate an Argo first down, begin with a disco-inspired roll of the arms in front of the chest. Then break into a full arm point in the direction of the advancing Argos offense. This movement is to be accompanied by a dull roar, building to a boisterous call of “first down”. (If you're not quite following, look to the Jumbotron following a first down. There's an alarming possibility they'll be showing us doing it. And if you're on the aisle, please be careful: Surprisingly, people who have their their beers knocked out of their hands tend not to share the celebratory spirit.)
  
  
• Flemons! This, obviously, is to celebrate the greatness that is Ronald Flemons. Since that greatness doesn't often involve sacks, forced fumbles or other things that typically invoke cheers for defensive ends, it's best to use this one randomly. (Note: This also has the benefit of confounding casual Argo supporters who were certain the name of that loveable coach was "Clemons.")

• “Steelback Sucks!” This is by far the most important one, and should be yelled at the commencement of every  3^rd quarter – which, tragically, is sponsored by a certain brewery. Not coincidentally, we've estimated that in the “Steelback quarter” the Argos have been out-scored by a total of 173 – 27. Perhaps it's time for a new sponsor? (Personally, I recommend this beer. Any chance Ravinder Minhas might be interested in starting up a CFL team in Ottawa?)

Thing #2: Last week, Joe Theisman made a cameo appearance on Off The Record. I quite hate the show, but like any car wreck I had to watch when I stumbled across Mike (don’t call me Mikey) Landsberg asking Joe if he was still embarrassed to be associated with the Argos. Joe said yes...then went on to say he thought the ownership was doing a great job and he loves the people and city of Toronto. With that kind of clear answer, no wonder ESPN has him doing its broadcasts. Oh, wait...

Thing #3: Unsurprisingly, there's some lingering confusion around the announcement that Lenny Kravitz will be playing the Grey Cup halftime show. Now, we know that Lenny’s guitarist and longtime collaborator Craig Ross grew up in the High Park area; in fact, he married a Canadian and lived with his family in Toronto up until last year. But what many don’t know is that Lenny has actually been enticed over the border by our Prime Minister. As it turns out, he couldn't turn down the Grey Cup after he received a personalized Rosh Hashanah card from Stephen Harper.