It's divisional semi-final day, and we’ve got a fridge full of beer, five pounds of brisket and a Jim Popp troll doll. It's time for roughly seven hours of football, in which he shall amuse ourselves in order to distract from the heartburn - and document it for when you have way, way too much time to kill at work.

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1:31 – If you had thirty seconds in the “How long will it take before someone mentions that this could be Milt Stegall last game” pool, congratulations!

1:35 – Troy Westwood is going to be handling both the kicking and punting duties for the Bombers today. And somewhere, Duncan O’Mahony is excited that someone might make his '04 Grey Cup performance look good.

1:37 – A.J. Gass is on the CBC panel today. No word on if Greg Frers and Daved Benefield are wearing cups. But kudos to the CBC on finding someone who talks even more slowly than Sean Millington.

1:39 – Was it really necessary for the CBC to inform us that we are watching the “Chunky” pre game show while showing a shot of Brian Chiu?

1:52 - A tailgater is shown outside Canad Inns wearing a Labatt Lite t-shirt. Is Labatt Lite even available outside Winnipeg?

1:54 - How pissed off is Rob Hitchcock that Gass – who currently appears to have his hands down his pants – got the nod over him for this?

1:57 - Asked for his pick in the East Semi-Final, David Bennefield goes with NCAA 1-AA school Cal State-Northridge. Man, we’re gonna miss this CBC panel.

2:02 - We look forward to the inevitable Mark Spector column on how the 40,000-odd Torontonians who go to the East Final don’t care about the CFL as much as the handful of Winnipeggers who bothered to show up today.

2:04 - It’s gametime, which can only mean one thing: Mark Estelle and Ben Cahoon are jockeying for prime ass-warming position in front of the sideline heater.

2:05 - Sweet – it’s a Steve Armitage game. To start things off, he can’t remember the name of Jarrett Payton’s father. (And no, it’s not Elfrid Payton.) If Jerome was the son of a legendary diver, Armitage totally would’ve nailed that.

2:09 - Nice opening return by Bashir Levingston, who the Als apparently wanted to bring in for weeks before they finally got him. Presumably he had to give two weeks notice at Rona.

2:16 - After a Stegall touchdown on Winnipeg’s first drive, we’re thinking the Als’ main role in this game may be to try to injure some Bombers before next week. Where’s Ed Philion when we need him?

2:26 - After a short pickup, Milt Stegall is smothered by Cox. (Sorry…we couldn’t resist.)

2:28 - A French sideline ad blows onto the field in the middle of a play. The Als are really pulling out all the stops here.

2:45 - Somewhere, Jack Todd’s head is about to explode. With third and goal from inside the one, the Als send out the field goal team. Then they take a timeout. Then Jim Popp stands there looking confused while Marcus Brady and Bryan Chiu debate whether to go for it. Then they do go for it, but instead of having Brady dive in they hand it backwards and get stuffed.

2:55 - After an amazing scramble and 40-yard pass to Matthew Deslauriers, it has to be said that Marcus Brady is playing pretty well. Except now they’re at the 1-yard line again.

2:58 - Touchdown Kerry Carter. And we actually have a game.

3:03 - In comes Troy Westwood to punt into a 50 KM/H wind. There’s a decent chance this one actually goes backward.

3:12 - In other news, the Buffalo Bills are currently late in the third quarter of a 3-2 barnburner with the Miami Dolphins. Where do we get our tickets for next year?

3:14 - Diamond Ferri gets his first tackle of the game. It’s nice to see a guy who wasn't afraid to give up his stripper name when he got a new job.

3:15 - Westwood hits a field goal to make it 10-7, disappointing those of us who were looking forward to seeing Doug Berry’s face if he missed.

3:18 - Kerry Watkins catches a 10-yard pass…and somehow takes off unimpeded for a 65-yard-touchdown. The Bombers’ defence looked almost Maciociaesque on that one.

3:23 - The Bombers sensibly concede a safety rather than have Westwood punt from the end zone…prompting Armitage to reveal that he thinks a safety is worth one point. At this point, the CBC might as well bring in Bob Cole to call this thing.

3:28 - The Bombers are booed off the field to end the half, although it would be louder if there was anyone there. Seriously, these people live in Winnipeg. They can’t handle a bit of wind?

3:29 - Jim Popp looks caught off guard when queried by Brenda Irving as to what he’ll say to the Als at halftime. We’re guessing that until she said that, he was planning to spend halftime smoking a joint in his hummer.

3:50 - CBC shows a shot of Kerry Watkins talking intently into a phone with the look of a man working hard to close a deal. Is Watkins really so poorly paid that he has to work as a telemarketer during games?

3:55 - Kudos to Jim Popp for showing his love for his distinct province by dressing like Bonhomme.

3:59 - After losing a crucial challenge, the Bombers take a 10-yard penalty and appear to be self-destructing. You don’t often see this sort of meltdown on the field without Adriano Belli being involved.

4:00 - Update: Four pounds of brisket to go.

4:01 - Marcus Brady appears to be hurt. Could every Argo fan’s dream be realized? Could they really be facing a team led by Mr. Big-Eared Fellow in the East final?

4:06 - Kevin Glenn gets picked off. Brian Ah-Yat, a Bomber nation turns its lonely eyes to you

4:07 - Is it possible that Jim Popp is actually a coaching genius who saved all his best plays for the playoffs? As we see him adjust his hair under his hat for about the twelfth time this game, we’re going to go with a no on that one.

4:09 - Kerry Watkins hates dropping the ball. You know what else he hates? Dropped cell phone calls. Which is why if you call him now, he’ll switch you over to Rogers, which has the fewest dropped calls in the country.

4:13 - Touchdown Charles Roberts. And this officially becomes the best game we’ve ever done one of these diaries for, not that that's saying much.

4:19 - Khari Jones now appears to be openly cheering for the Bombers.

4:29 - With the Als driving, Watkins is up to 157 receiving yards. And he’s sold three cell phone plans.

4:39 - Now there’s a lonely pom-pom flying across the field. If the wind also blew the cheerleader straight out of the stadium, that’s actually quite a haunting image.

4:41 - After Brady is picked off on his own side of the field, the Bombers have to settle for a field goal. Which means that even after the turnover, Marcus friggin’ Brady is still outplaying the East Division’s nominee for Most Outstanding Player.

4:47 - After another shot of Jim Popp’s ensemble, we’re starting to suspect the Als are winning because Don Matthews is hiding inside Popp’s clothes.

4:51 - With the wind at his back and a two-point deficit to overcome with 5:00 left, Westwood misses a 37-yard field goal. Oh, Little Hawk, why have the mighty spirits clipped your wings?

4:57 - Damon Duval shanks a punt with less than three minutes left. Time for Larry Smith’s daughter to complain to the commissioner that the wind is being mean to her husband.

5:05 - With the game on the line as the Als try to keep the ball on 3^rd and 1, the CBC’s cameras pay tribute to the Blair Witch Project.

5:06 - Yet again, the Als get stuffed. Is Little Hawk about to make an encore appearance?

5:12 - Here he is, in what Armitage describes as a “fantasy ending”…and it’s good! Bombers win! The CBC had better hurry up and interview Jim Popp in his remaining three and a half minutes as coach.

5:14 - With the East Semifinal in the books, you’ll be pleased to know you’re only 50% of the way through reading this.

To be continued...