Wow, somehow A-Rad and I both went 3-0 in our calls last week.  Run.  Run as fast as you can.

Rusty's Picks:

Calgary at Montreal

It costs $2,000 to hang out with Tom Higgins on a 7-day cruise? Couldn't I just pay Christopher Lloyd $1,000 to dress up like Judge Doom in a Stamps track suit and get the same effect?

Pick: Montreal

Toronto at Winnipeg

Winnipeg City Councillors: If you could please somehow pass a by-law stating that anyone using one of Chris Berman's "nicknames" to call Mike Quinn "the Medicine Woman" is subject to a $1,000,000 fine, it would be very much appreciated.  Thanks.

Pick: Toronto

Saskatchewan at Hamilton

There's an absurd number of former Renegades involved here...Tillman... Paopao... Joseph... Ranek... Armstead... Flick...  Which leads to an obvious question: Was the Riders pass in the 5th round of the dispersal draft, only to make picks in the 6th and 7th rounds the real begining of the end of the Shivers era?

Pick: Saskatchewan

A-Rad's picks: 

Calgary at Montreal

Apparently, there's some concern in Calgary about the Stamps overindulging in the Montreal nightlife. Translation: 330-pound linemen may be able to handle the Als, but they could easily be felled by 100-pound Quebecois strippers. 

Fear not, though: the Stamps are clearly able to content themselves with homoerotic teasing of their placekicker. And besides, if they're looking for the finest chest in Montreal, it's well-established that they'll be going to Etienne Boulay.

Pick: Calgary 

Toronto at Winnipeg

I've resisted any Ricky/pot comments so far, mostly because they're the domain of middle-aged sports columnists eager to bust out their outdated drug lingo for the first time since the '70s. But it has to be asked: At some point, during all the tedious hours spent in there, has Ricky contemplated hot-boxing his hyperbaric chamber? I mean, it has to have crossed his mind for at least a fleeting moment, no?

As for the game itself...I don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but if the Argos got five interceptions on Anthony Calvillo, how many can we expect against the Mighty Quinn? 

Pick: Toronto 

Saskatchewan at Hamilton 

You know you suck when another team beats you 46-15 using its third-string quarterback, and is so disappointed with the result that it fires its general manager.

Hopefully Kenton Keith has another big game in the rematch, so 'Riders fans have something to remember him by. Because once Kent Austin inevitably comes to town, rest assured that Kenton will mysteriously turn into the worst running back in the league.

Pick: Hamilton (seriously)

Bonus pick: 

All of the Argos have somehow been injured, and Pinball is forced to play against the Bombers by himself - and (not the real) Greg Marshall has dastardly devised a machine that takes all the wind from Portage and Main and blows it directly at Pinball. How does windswept Pinball do?*

Rusty's pick: Pinball 104, Bombers 12 (Pinball cuts through the wind like an O-lineman after an all-bean buffet. Interestingly, despite all the wind gusting through the stadium, (not the real) Greg Marshall's mustache doesn't move at all.)

A-Rad's pick: Pinball 70, Bombers 15 (Pinball stuggles, mostly because he's not able to use his usually awesome placekicking skills. Also, while he's still impossible to tackle, the wind means that his touchdown runs each take several minutes. This does help chew up the clock, though, since his 105-yard kickoff return takes up the entire third quarter.)

* = Everything we need to know about football analysis, we learned from early '90s SNL sketches.