A couple of weeks ago, I took time off from my vacation and ventured into a Kingston Public Library to sing the praises of the Dairy Farmers Cheese Race. But despite our desperate pleas, the Argos failed to reinstate what was, bar none, the finest scoreboard race in the history of scoreboard races.
Now, it's true...we could've found something else to bet $2 on next home game. But there was a much better solution: Stage our very own cheese race, with all your favourite competitors from their glory days on the Jumbotron. If we're really lucky, maybe this will even net us some hot swag from the Dairy Farmers.
So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your contestants... From left to right: Swiss, Cheddar, and - standing in for Pepper Jack, who we trust is doing well in rehab - Gouda!
And they're off! It's a tight start here as Gouda takes a slight lead coming out of the "knives of doom"...
These brave dairy duelers are extremely close as they come up on "The Stomper"...
Oh no! It looks like cheddar is having some trouble with the water hazard!
The crowd at the Argo Dome is going ballistic as our contestants enter the stadium and head for home....
They're reaching the finish line and.. Oh my! Can you believe it? Our winner is the upstart... the cheese that nobody thought could win... the Dutch that comes through in the clutch! Ladies and Gentleman your winner... and new hero.... GOUDA!
An incredible race by all of our competitors today. Really, all of our courageous cheeses are fantastic competitors worthy of our respect and admiration; may they all find a good cracker to rest on. But to our winner go the spoils. Gouda, please enjoy our top prize...your very own Steelback beer!
And now over to our reporter on the field, Frank D'Angelo, who's standing by with Gouda and a special guest!
Wow. Even gouda can't believe how cheesy that was. We sincerely hope he's enjoying his vict... oh no!
We probably should've seen that coming. After all, we were warned.
(Thanks to all our competitors, and Boatmenblog associate Propane Guy for his photography and graphic arts skills. It's all downhill from here, Propane Guy, but at least one day you'll be able to show this to your grandchildren.)