Welcome, Deadspin readers. Have to say, you've caught us on a banner day. We've got bachelor searches. We've got cheese race laments. And if you scroll down a bit, we've got a very unsettling story about a mustachioed broadcaster you've probably never heard of.

Just in case you want something that's actually about football, we should probably put to rest a rumour that we passed on yesterday. It turns out that Ricky Williams did not, in fact, wander out into Regina traffic (if such a thing exists), flag down a local and hitch a ride to the hospital to mend his broken arm. We're told that he did forego an ambulance in favour of an SVU, but it was driven by a team employee.

The confusion seems to have been started by the Roughriders broadcast crew, who apparently lambasted Ricky during the game for bailing on his teammates by wandering out of the stadium and hopping into a car to go savour the Saskatchewan nightlife (possibly at this place). This is what Ricky gets for having such a ridiculously high pain threshold that nobody could tell he was injured.

Happily, Ricky's too zen to hold much of a grudge. But seriously...the next hack who makes a joke about him having no shortage of pain medication deserves a Scott Schultz helmet to the head.