It's Friday night. Your Boatmenblog crew has a fridge full of an inexplicably exotic variety of beers, Swiss Chalet on the way, and the TSN panel ready to do that thing it does. Let's do this.

7:03 pm Time for a Greg Marshall debate. Shockingly, Matt Dunigan is siding with a coach he thinks was fired prematurely. Chris Schultz, normally one of the best football analysts in the country, is explaining that Marshall should've gotten more time because he had the Ticats "close to the playoffs." It's true: Another coach might've gotten them into the negative integers needed to be more than 2 points back.

7:10 pm In a feature on recent #3 overall draft pick Andy Fantuz, Adam Rita is seen grilling him at the CFL combine...on what board games he likes to play. He appears to be serious, advancing our theory that Adam Rita is high 24 hours a day.

7:13 pm Aw, crap. TSN is going with the Black/Peterson combination, which is almost enough to make us long for the old ESPN Sunday night crew. Almost. 

7:19 pm Promo for the Brian Williams/Greg Marshall interview, except the clip is just Williams staring intensely into the camera. Marshall looks confused and slightly terrified.

7:23 pm Okay, this is actually a pretty good interview, and it's absolutely impossible to dislike Marshall right now. Total standup guy. But Williams must have it written into his contract that they have to show him looking pensive at least once every 30 seconds. And if they start filming him any closer, they'll be shooting up his nostrils.

7:38 pm Kickoff time, so we get the requisite Lancaster shots. Peterson invokes the standard "the coach didn't really want to come back and coach" line. Amazing how many selfless coaches there are out there.

7:52 pm Kwame Cavil makes his first catch of the season; commences approximately 17 minutes of celebrations. As they say, act like you've been there before. Or, in this case, caught it before.

7:55 pm Taking Rod Black's description of "sauna" conditions seriously, Lancaster's got the towel draped around his neck. Looks like he's headed for the spa, or at least the steam room at the Hamilton HoJo.

7:58 pm Jason Maas attempts the ugliest shovel pass we've ever seen. Anyone else wondering if Paopao might've been the problem?

7:59 pm Ticats get the first touchdown of the Lancaster era, and it sounds like 6 people are celebrating it in their basement. Would it kill TSN to mic the crowd? 

8:01 pm Wally Buono comes on to tell us he hates cholesterol; points menacingly at the camera. How long till our half chickens, Chalet sauce and fries get here?

8:04 pm Drunken Cowbell Jenny breezes into the room; commences another rant about those kids sitting in front of us at last weekend's game. Somewhere, one of our commenters shakes his head disapprovingly. 

8:16 pm We're treated to a guy waiting in a hot dog line wearing a golf shirt that's fluorescent pink up top, fluorescent  yellow in the middle, and fluorescent green at the bottom. Nice of TSN to show us the best-dressed man in Hamilton.

8:22 pm The newly disciplined Ticats take a time-count violation inside the 10-yard line. 

8:24 pm Lancaster talks to Maas on the sideline. How many times do you think he's called him Danny so far? 

8:25 pm With a 3rd down on the Calgary 4, Hamilton attempts a toss that somehow winds up on the turf. Turnover. Paopao!

8:37 pm Black describes Sandro DeAngelis as the hottest player in the CFL. Sandro promptly misses a field goal. Don't worry...Rod still loves Sandro.

8:38 pm Swiss Chalet finally arrives. In deference to Wally Buono, we stop taking notes to start boosting our cholesterol. Rusty chugs Chalet sauce.  

8:50 pm Apparently there's still a game going on. Ticats D steps up for a goal-line stand to end the half; Ticats go to the dressing room with the lead.

9:00 pm Why is Williams berating Tom Sizemore about firing Greg Marshall? Oh, wait...that's Ticats president Rob Katz. 

9:02 pm Williams tells Katz they're running out of time; halftime marching band launches into Europe's Final Countdown in the background. Seriously. 

9:05 pm Another Ticats drive falls apart, this time ending in a Maas fumble. 

9:18 pm Lancaster looks on intently at a Ticats 3rd down gamble. Or he's looking for a cabana girl with a cold drink. We can't really tell. 

9:25 pm The Ticats flub a punt. How are they still in this? 

9:32 pm Lancaster freaks out over a flag. Or maybe just a lack of ice and/or salt for his margarita. 

9:33 pm The score remains 7-4. Rod Black earnestly proclaims it "a crazy night."

9:37 pm The Ticats' Tad Kornegay - who sounds like a character played by Ted McGinley - celebrates his fumble recovery with a shoutout to Trenton, New Jersey.

9:39 pm Do child labour laws not apply in the CFL? We don't care what his bio says...Greg Randall is not 28. 

9:42 pm Final Countdown is playing again. Damn...Hamiltonians LOVE them their Europe. 

9:48 pm Lining up for a field goal from the 1-yard-line, Hamilton keeps deliberately taking penalties; Calgary keeps declining them. This is the worst television we've seen since that guy on Angola got hit in the crotch with the soccer ball during the World Cup and lay there for five minutes with his hands down his shorts.

9:50 pm Lancaster is starting to look hungry. That 4:30 early-bird special must be starting to wear off.

9:59 pm Hey, wasn't John Lu supposed to be a sideline reporter for this game? How many injuries will it take to wrest him away from the hot Hamilton nightlife? 

10:12 pm Speaking of missing persons, whatever happened to Lancaster? It's not like TSN to go five minutes without giving us a dose of our Li'l General. 

10:14 pm Terry Vaughn just tied Darren Flutie's CFL receptions record. If there's anything about Terry Vaughn that's worth making fun of, we haven't figured it out yet. 

10:17 pm Corey Holmes takes it to the endzone; commences dance around startled linemen. Petersen suggests the linemen would be happier square dancing. Nice work playing the race card.

10:18 pm Yikes. The Stamps' Cam Yeow is on a stretcher, being loaded into an ambulance. Nobody bothers explaining what's wrong with him. Seriously, what is John Lu being paid for?

10:29 pm Sandro DeAngelis is out to try a game-tying field goal. Rod Black is going nuts. It's good! Lucky we're going to commercial...we're pretty sure Rod just had a Mike Cooper moment.   

10:31 pm Hot damn! It's a John Lu sighting! 

10:35 pm Vaughn breaks the receptions record. Hamiltonians seem to be oblivious. 

10:40 pm The camera pans to DeAngelis on the bench, literally pinching himself. Maybe someone told him about the whole Rod Black thing.

10:42 pm The Stamps shank a punt, surrendering prime field position with 30 seconds left. Isn't it the Ticats who are supposed to be doing this stuff?

10:44 pm Replacement Ticats kicker Mark Myers hits a 45-yard field goal. Jamie Boreham is officially cut. Oh, and the Ticats won. Time to bust out that eclair.

10:45 pm Lancaster grins. "You know who else is smiling right now?" Rod Black exclaims. "Greg Marshall!" Um, okay. But no smiles from us. Ticats still suck.