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Boatmenblog's Top 10 of '06: Jack Todd

With the year quickly winding down, we thought we'd steal a page from every media outlet/blogger/writer/drunken New Year's Eve partier and take a look back at some of our favourite people of 2006. Some impressed. Some dazzled. Most just amused, and only occasionally intentionally. Enjoy.

Number 9: Jack Todd

There is, we acknowledge, no shortage of competition for the most unintentionally enjoyable columnist covering the CFL. And even though none of them are Rod Black, most have at one time or another been in possesion of a genuinely outstanding mustache. But one man truly rose above the pack.

We had some inkling of how truly craptacular the Gazette's Jack Todd could be a couple of years ago, when we saw him on a panel the weekend of the '04 East Final (which ended rather unfavourably for the Als, as we recall) predicting that the Argos didn't stand a chance because they had a "cheerleader" on the sidelines while Montreal had Don Matthews. But either he didn't go all the way off the deep end until this year, or it just took us a while to notice.

Ironically, much of Jack's best stuff revolved around some sort of feud with that same Don Matthews. Whereas at the start of the year he was waxing poetic about The Don's "impassioned" speeches to the team and gleefully predicting a Grey Cup win, by mid-season he was explaining that Matthews should be fired because scalpers were having a hard time selling tickets. When The Don finally was replaced, he wrote a triumphant column explaining that he had to go because he wasn't nice enough to reporters - which, as we all know, is the primary consideration for most fans.

To cap off the year, there was his insightful pre-Grey Cup column, which apparently involved Jack falling asleep with his mustache pressing down on the "o" key. But what really earned him this illustrious spot on our list was his brilliant coverage, much earlier in the year, of the Als' blowout win over the Argos at Molson Stadium.

See, like most middle-aged sportswriters, Jack was clearly excited by the opportunity to bust out a bunch of pot jokes when Ricky Williams was signed by the Argos. But cruelly, by the time the Argos played their first game in Montreal, Ricky was hurt and out of the lineup.

Now, a lesser columnist would've set aside those jokes and written about the guys who were actually on the field. But not our man Jack. No, sir. Or, as he would say, nooooooooooooooooo sir! Undaunted, he cranked out an entire column that existed solely to let him work in zingers about the munchies, second-hand-smoke, Ricky's "burnt-out roach of a career" and the Argos competing for "the Grey Hookah."

That's gold, Jack. Gold. And yes, we know that if you repeat that to anyone, you'll tell them it was "Mexican gold." Because that's just the crazy kind of guy you are.

(Is it too early for New Year's resolutions? Because we're pretty sure we have to make one never to write this much about Jack Todd again.) 

 

Posted on Saturday, December 16, 2006 at 06:15PM by Registered CommenterA-Rad in | CommentsPost a Comment

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