At the risk of all sorts of innuendo we're not really aiming for, we know that Dick Pound can be a little hard to take. But you have to admire the guy's empire-building ever since the IOC rejected him for someone "less tempermental," as Wikipedia puts it - even if "empire" in this case really just refers to his ability to get 10 minutes of airtime on the Fan 590 every now and then.

See, back when he first took over the World Anti-Doping Agency, Dick was expected to focus on performance-enhancing drug use among amateur athletes. But having evidently won that battle (really, when was the last time you saw a sprinter who looked like he was using?), he promptly moved on to steroids in professional sports. Then it was hockey players and their allegedly insatiable appetite for amphetamines. And now? Now, it's CFL players and their pot.

We have no idea how recreational drug use fits under Pound's umbrella. But as he casts his net wider and wider, we're starting to get a little nervous.

So before Dick calls a press conference to out us, it's time to come clean: Sometimes, before playing in our recreational flag football league, we've been known to consume all or part of a Red Bull. If it comes to it, we're prepared to roll over on the teammates who turned us onto it, and the convenience store owners who peddled it. Anything to help Dick in his bid to purge the sporting world of such filth.