Ladies and gentlemen, it's happened. Boatmen Blog has become the #1 result on Google for the search term "making ourselves look foolish" - beating out the 2003 Hamilton Ti-Cats, guys who wear O.J. Simpson throwback jerseys, and your relative who always gets too drunk at Thanksgiving. Big day around here. We're so proud.

Admittedly, it’s a little disappointing that three of the games this week only mean something to one team, but I’m sure we’ll get over it as soon as the games start.

Rusty's Picks:

Saskatchewan at Toronto

Tonight’s Argos game is apparently “World Record Night” and the team will be acknowledging various world record holders as well as trying to set some of its own. We can’t wait for the attempt on the “Most people dancing around an opponent's injured QB at halftime” record.

Pick: Toronto

Edmonton at Montreal

Well, this is awkward. The man that many Montrealers want to coach the Alouettes comes into town with a team that will not make the playoffs. So will he try to impress the Als by doing his best to win the game, or will he passively try and help them out by taking it easy?

Hmm… Steven Jyles is getting some time…. No Ed Hervey… Damn you, Macocia.

Pick: Montreal

Calgary at Winnipeg

Stamps Defensive Co-Ordinator Denny Creehan has claimed that the Lions were being paid by management if they managed to injure Stamps’ players. While we’re sure that this is entirely possible, it really didn’t help the Stamps cause to also blame the injuries on Snuffleupagus, the Boogeyman, and Horn Chen.

Pick: Winnipeg

Hamilton at BC

The season mercifully comes to a close for the Ti-Cats on Saturday. Hamilton’s suffered a number of disappointments this year, from the coaching changes to Jason Maas to Craig Yeast - but honestly, nothing has been more disappointing than the fact that Angelo Mosca never followed up on his promise to put an ad in Toronto newspapers encouraging fans to boycott the team due to Ricky Williams. There are still 2 home games left, Angelo. You’ve still got time.

Pick: BC

A-Rad's picks:

Saskatchewan at Toronto

I'm beginning to think Byron Parker could leap tall buildings in a single bound. I mean, the guy won the NCAA slam-dunk contest. He caught on in professional football after exactly 1 year playing the sport in college - which started with him as a walk-on. He's broken the CFL's record for interception return yards playing less than half the season. And most impressively, he somehow managed to navigate his way through what had to be the most baffling set of questions in the history of student newspapers.

Pick: Toronto

Edmonton at Montreal

According to Danny Maciocia, unlike those ingrates in Edmonton, "in Saskatchewan or Winnipeg, if you win the Grey Cup, you can become mayor, or premier." Is John Gregory aware of this? Because you'd have to figure the last guy to coach the 'Riders to a Grey Cup would want to know about this rare opportunity to serve as mayor of Regina - possibly the only job that could be even better than his current gig as head coach of the storied Arkansas Twisters.

Pick: Montreal

Calgary at Winnipeg

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod! Have you heard how totally awesome Tom Higgins is? (And he foxtrots to boot!)

Pick: Calgary

Hamilton at BC

I didn't think it was possible for me to like Pigskin Pete any more than I already did, but this interview with Perry Lefko might've achieved it - and not just because he addresses the "Foreskin Pete" taunts head-on. The best part, if I'm reading it correctly, is that he's retiring because all the cheerleading was tiring him out so much that he could have "maybe one beer after the game and it was time to go home." In other words, Pigskin Pete is quitting so he can get more drunk after games. Awesome. And for the record, there's no 72-year-old I'd rather get drunk with than Pigskin Pete, with the possible exception of Danny McManus.

Pick: BC

Bonus pick: 

All of the Argos have been injured in practice, leaving Pinball to play the 'Riders by himself. To give his team a fighting chance, the dastardly Danny Barrett forms an unholy alliance with Dick Pound to force Pinball to work his day job over at the parking lot while simultaneously playing the game. How does Pinball do?*

Rusty's Pick: Pinball 154, Roughriders 5  (Prior to the game, Pinball makes a short video to leave at the parking
lot, explaining the situation to customers and asking them to leave what they can.  Pinball ends up setting two world records tonight - the first for returning seven consecutive punts for touchdowns, the second for making $80,000 from a 10-spot parking lot in one night. People really love Pinball.)

A-Rad's pick: Pinball 763, Eskimos 0 (To move at lightning-speed between the parking lot and the Argodome, and just to spite Dick Pound, the normally clean Pinball ingests every known performance-enhancing drug before the game. As the score indicates, this gives him roughly an extra 600 points; it also helps at the parking lot, where he's able to lift illegally parked cars over his head and toss them across the street.)

* = Everything we need to know about football analysis, we learned from early '90s SNL sketches.