Jack Todd discovers the Internet, then realizes he's just looking at a cell phone
As we count down the days until our collective hero Michael Bishop returns to action, we must savour the little things in life. And so we take great solace in a column brought to our attention by our friend Neate Sager, which suggests that Boatmenblog nemesis Jack Todd has fully and completely gone off the deep end.
The point, we think, is that Jack doesn't like blogs. To make this point, he writes today's entire column in what he appears to think is blogger's jargon. A sample:
So here we are. The Monday Morning blog. Since blogging is just tew kewl, a blog it is. (Although you have our permission to go on referring to this little number as a "column" but only if joo are both over 60 and TTLY kewl.)
Where were we? Yes, chilluns, the MMQB has been away. Away chillin'. So 10X to both of U who wrote wondering if the MMQB had been a) fired; b) hanged by Michael Vick after losing a fight with Earl the Pearl; c) replaced by Zeke Herbowsky or d) all of the above.
So, c'mon people. :) :) :) 'cuz you KNOW you ain't been smiling on Monday mornings since you haven't had a MMQB to hate, am I right? Get with it 2da and don't wait until 2moro because by 2moro, we will all have had frontal lobotomies and we'll be sitting in the basement arguing whether we should be watching the WWE, NASCAR or Ultimate Fighting.
Now, there are many things to criticize blogs for. Wasting your time at work, for instance. Or needlessly antagonizing a nice guy like Frank D'Angelo. Or giving Damien Cox another place to whine about stuff.
But whatever Jack is parodying, it's not any blog we've ever seen. As far as we can tell, what he's actually sending up is text messaging, if it were popular to intermittently insert late-'90s ebonics into text messaging.
We have to admit - we're really, really hope this column stemmed from Jack Googling himself and stumbling onto us making fun of him. If not, please advise him to do so. To put it in terms he'll understand, there are a lot of people LOL-ing at him today.
A-Rad
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