After the Rocky Butler for D.J. Flick and Wayne Smith trade, some people are wondering if there is going to be a QB controversy in Hamilton this year.  Luckily for all involved, Rocky and Jason Maas agreed to settle it like men... in the ring.  Some enterprising film makers have decided to use the story as the basis for a blockbuster film, and we here at Boatmenblog have scored a major coup by obtaining the transcript from the trailer. 

Ominous Movie Voice: A third string quarterback... waiting for his opportunity... waiting for his shot... to be #1....

"Hey Rocky, you've been traded... to Hamilton"

Ominous Movie Voice: "Rocky VII: Showdown in Steeltown.... Starring: Rocky Butler, Jason Maas, free agent DT Adriano Belli, Paulie Osbaldiston... and Mike Morreale as "Micky."

Adriano: "Don't do it Rocky. Don't fight Jason Maas.  You can't win!  You can't win!"

Rocky: "Hey, I don't want to be just another bum from the neighbourhood. And, uh, with veterans like Mick here with me, I think I could, you know, go the distance." 

Micky: "You're gonna eat lightning and you're gonna crap thunder!" 

Ozzy: "I don't want nothin' from you." [An obviously drunk Ozzy passes out]

[Shots of Rocky running past the steel mills and raising his fist triumphantly after climbing up the stairs at Ivor Wynne]

Rocky: "MAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!!!"

[Copps Coliseum is buzzing with anticipation as the two quarterbacks circle each other in the ring]

Chris Cuthbert: "I can't get over the size of those ears!"

[The fight starts and the two QB flail their arms wildly and connect with... nothing.]

Cuthbert: "The bombs these guys are throwing aren't hitting their targets, and yet they keep falling down!  It's like a stiff breeze could sack them!"

[Battered and bruised, Maas embraces Rocky as the announcer declares Maas the victor]

Maas: "Ain't gonna be no rematch"

Rocky: "Don't want one. Adriano! Adriano!"

[And all looks well in Steeltown... Until someone notices that third-string QB Richie Williams' Drunken Fan Club is approaching the stadium...]

Rocky VII: Showdown in Steeltown....Coming to you in June 2007.