Last year's Grey Cup halftime show prompted Rusty to rave to CBC Radio about the incredible super-awesomeness of Nelly Furtado. (He was quite drunk.) So as you can imagine, we're pretty psyched for Wednesday's announcement of who will be gracing us with their presence at this year's halftime festivites. (Watch out, Andy Barrie...here comes Rusty.)

Now, we've seen enough Grey Cups to be able to make an educated guess as to who it'll be. Our gut, alarmingly enough, tells us it'll be Avril Lavigne. Our heart is with a more tasteful dark horse like Sloan. Our deepest fear is a repeat of the 2004 Tragically Hip performance, which we mercifully missed most of because we were stuck in a 35-minute bathroom lineup at Landsdowne Park.

But frankly, these are all a little...impersonal. With the Grey Cup back in Toronto for the first time in 15 years, it's time to show the CFL what we're made of with some distinctive Argo flavour. Some options:

• Diane Clemons. Pinball's wife has a lovely singing voice, as we discovered when she performed the anthem a couple of years ago. The only catch is that, on the evidence of that performance, they'd have to extend halftime to about 90 minutes. (And yes, we just made a joke - albeit a mild one - about Pinball's wife. We're going straight to hell.) 
• Clifford Ivory. They call him "Sweet Music" for a reason. Okay, they called him "Sweet Music" once, after he sang the anthem. But he did a really nice job. More importantly, it would give some of us a reason to keep wearing our favourite jersey. And anything that gets him back to the Grey Cup parties is well worth it.
• Shake Severs, featuring the Toronto Symphony Orchestra. The return of Robert Baker speaks for itself. If Noel Prefontaine can learn to rap, he could join him on stage and they could settle their differences 8 Mile style. And the presence of the TSO would give our man Shake the gravitas he deserves.
• This person.
• Cody Pickett riding a mechanical bull. And now, a little something for the ladies. The Argos have a former rodeo star from a multi-generation rodeo family hovering behind Rocky Butler on the depth chart; isn't it about time to put him to good use? An entire rodeo might be a little expensive to stage, but anyone who's been to a crappy Western-themed American bar knows there's nothing sexier than partying atop a mechanical bull. Sort of like this.
• Sherwood Schwarz: The Musical. It had comedy. It had drama. It had Shaggy. It's a story that needs to be told, and nothing could be more fitting than enlisting Garth Drabinsky to stage it.
• Frank D'Angelo and the Steelback 2-4. Surely the pan-Canadian crowd at the Grey Cup, unlike those ingrates at regular Argos games, will appreciate the great talent that is in their midst. And if not, it'll at least have the upside of bringing us all together - 50,000 Canadians from places big and small, coming together as a single voice to drown out his cover of My Girl.